Transcription of the Conversation Between Mark Cuban and Security Personnel at the Rose Garden

I read this dubious report about Mark Cuban saying he was hit in the face by an unidentified projectile during Game Three of the Mavs-Blazers game.  Believe it or not, I've gained exclusive access to the conversation—recorded for quality assurance—between Mark Cuban and the security personnel whom Cuban promptly alerted in regards to the "incident."  Here's the transcription:

CUBAN:  Sir.  Sir.  Excuse me, sir.

SECURITY:  Yeah, what?

CUBAN:  Look, it's not a big deal, it's really not, and I'm really not trying to make a big deal over this, and I don't want to make any extra work for you guys, I really don't, but I just think I should bring it to your attention that an object hit me in the face.

SECURITY:  What object?

CUBAN:  You know, I'm not sure, I didn't really get a good look at the object.  I don't want it to seem like I'm making a big deal about this, because I'm really not.  The security has been great, you guys are all doing a great job.

SECURITY:  Was it big or small?

CUBAN:  Again, I didn't really get a good look at the object.  It struck my cheek, then ricocheted off my chest, to the floor.  I looked under and all around my seat, and didn't really see anything that looked like something someone would've thrown.

SECURITY:  Are you hurt?  Do you feel unsafe?

CUBAN:  No, absolutely not.  I'm perfectly fine.  I mean, yeah.  I'll be alright.  I'm not worried.  I just don't want anybody else to get hurt.  The fans in Portland have been great.

SECURITY:  Did you see anybody throw the object?

CUBAN:  You know, I didn't.  It was just a bang-bang play.  The object, I'm not sure what it was, hit me in the face, but I didn't really see anybody.  I'm not even completely sure the object, which I never actually saw,  was even thrown by anybody.  It could've just fallen from somewhere, I don't know.  I really don't want to make a big deal about this.  I just want to say—what's your name?

SECURITY:  Jerry.

CUBAN:  Jerry, you guys have been great.  I only wanted to let you guys know about this, becuase I know you have procedural things that you have to follow.

SECURITY:  Alright, Mr. Cuban.  We'll, I don't know, keep a look out for any fans who look like they're throwing objects.  Is there anything else I can help you with right now?

CUBAN:  Hey, thanks a lot, Jerry.  The security in Portland has been great.  I ordered a milk, and I still haven't gotten it.  I don't really want to make a big deal about it or anything...